Now, it’s official – that’s exactly what it’s done, a few months shy of its third anniversary. Thank you!

In addition to thanking you, my visitors, there are a few other people I must acknowledge. For without these individuals, my blog would not have reached this milestone for many, many more moons to come.

Once upon a time, this guy was Prince Charming.

1. Jesse James: Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Over two years ago, I wrote a post positing whether Jesse was “good in bed,” as Donald Trump stated on “The Celebrity Apprentice.” At the time, I had no idea that the mysterious Jesse – who at the time appeared to be the devoted, supportive husband of Sandra Bullock – would later be revealed as a serial cheater, seemingly incapable of remaining faithful to any woman. And I never, ever would’ve guessed that this single post alone would attract over 61,000 hits. Since then, Jesse has lost his wife (and their adopted son), gotten engaged, gotten unengaged (or broken up and then back together again), and learned an incredible amount of disdain from the general public.

From vow renewal to separation to divorce: The three degrees of Kate Gosselin./Photo credit TLC

2. Kate Gosselin: Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Over two years ago, I wrote a post positing whether… wait a second, I feel as if I’m repeating myself. Well, needless to say, Kate does have something in common with Jesse: At one time they were popular, but they both have had their fair share of negative press in the last year. Anyway, back to Kate. My post positing trouble in paradise (aka Kate’s marriage to Jon, the father of her “8″) back in March of 2009 garnered the second highest number of hits on this blog – a whopping 14,000+. Since then, the Gosselins separated, divorced, sparred in the press, their TLC show was canceled, and now Kate is writing for a coupon website.

"The Real Housewives of New Jersey": Though the faces may change, the drama keeps on coming./Photo credit Bravo

3. “The Real Housewives of New Jersey”: I love my home state. New Jersey is now home to more (reality) shows on television than – well, just about any other state. They may not accurately depict my life – or, for that matter, the lives of anyone I know – but they’re entertaining nonetheless. And way back during the first season of the Bravo series, I wrote this post about all of the faces and places featured on the show. All together, it’s attracted over 12,800 hits. Aside from some cast changes (subtract one sister and a “prostitution whore,” add a sister-in-law and a cousin), the show retains its familial strife theme. Blood is thicker than water, indeed.

"Jerseylicious": Bringing you the finest haircuts this side of the Delaware Canal./Photo credit Style Network

4. “Jerseylicious”: Did I mention how much I love New Jersey? What I love even more than the Garden State is the fact that a little post I wrote about this Style Network reality show filming around my hometown (that’s Franklin Township in Somerset County, thank you very much) has gotten so much attention! (Over 10,000 hits, to be exact!) In the year since visiting Franklin, episodes of “Jerseylicious” are shown 24/7 (or maybe it just seems like it) and it’s even spawned a spin-off, “Glam Fairy.”

Savior or butcher? Hey, I was merely posing a question.../Photo credit Fox

5. Gordon Ramsay and his “Kitchen Nightmares”: I can assure you that when I wrote this post about Fox’s favorite foul-mouthed chef, Gordon Ramsay, filming an episode of “Kitchen Nightmares” at a (now defunct) restaurant in Whitehouse Station I had no idea it would attract so much attention. Over 10,500 hits later, I’m still getting comments chastising me (some even accusing me of “irresponsible journalism”) for merely pointing out another article from Scotland which questioned whether the chef’s attempts at saving failing restaurants actually help or make the businesses fail faster. What’s this prove? That Gordon Ramsay has fiercely loyal fans. Oh, and that many of them can’t discern my comments from quotes that I clearly attributed to another publication. <le sigh>

While the above subjects comprise a large chunk of the entire 1 million hits my blog has reached, I don’t think they define it. Heck, they’re not even among my favorites. The ones I prefer – which, as of late, include this and this post on the HBO show “Enlightened” – are actually the least viewed. Which is a shame. But, as I’ve learned in the nearly three years I’ve maintained this blog, you never know when hits will strike. And I’m hoping my enthusiasm for “Enlightened” will rub off on you.

Pretty please?

Pure and simple, I loved it.

I loved that despite Amy’s (Laura Dern) intense loneliness (which is only exacerbated by her *friend* Krista (Sarah Burns) pointing out that she’s alone and questioning why she wouldn’t want love in her life), she flirts with but ultimately rejects the idea of sleeping with having sex with her drug-addicted ex-husband, Levi (Luke Wilson).

Now that’s enlightened.

Although Amy (Laura Dern) is enlightened enough to realize there's no romance in her future with coworker Tyler (Mike White), she isn't enlightened enough to realize he's volunteering to help her with her work because he's interested in her./Photos by HBO

I loved that Amy rejects (though not too sensitively) the romantic overtures of her coworker, Tyler (“Enlightened” creator Mike White), despite wanting love and the affection/attention of a man. She realizes that she’s not willing to settle with someone she doesn’t feel that kind of connection with.

Now that’s enlightened.

I love that Amy – despite her desire to get on her boss Dougie’s (Timm Sharp) good side by hooking him up with a hot coworker – realizes that Dougie is lousy date material and tells the woman as much, risking her supervisor’s wrath and any chance of finally getting her women’s group (hilariously dubbed the Women’s Association of Abaddon, or WAA) up and running.

Now that’s enlightened.

Awareness is the path to enlightenment. By jove, I think Amy is starting to get it!

The final scene of “Lonely Ghosts” is what really got to me, though. (Yes, I confess, I cried my eyes out. And every time I think of it, I tear up.) Amy, after climbing into her bed alone – in her mother’s house – lays in the dark, thinking:

“Life can be like a bad dream sometimes.

We all want comfort.

A little love to get us through the long nights.

Nobody wants to sleep alone.

Everyone’s afraid of the dark.

But I will not be afraid.

The light is always there.

It is all around me.

Nothing is missing.

I am not waiting for the sun.”

Now that’s enlightened.

Amy (played by likable Laura Dern) is the heart of “Enlightened,” a thoughtful (and sometimes humorous) new HBO show which airs at 9:30 p.m. Mondays. (Media sources have dubbed it the “best show nobody’s watching,” and they say some very nice things about it.) Me, on the other hand – after catching up with the first three episodes On Demand – I’ve made it required viewing… at 9:30 p.m. Mondays. (Not sure how Nielsen-obsessed HBO is, but it can’t hurt, right?)

And in the spirit of “Enlightened” – it is 11/11/11, after all – I’ve chosen to come out as someone on a similar path of spiritual awareness and awakening.

Like Amy, I choose to focus my energy and attention on positive things that make me happy. And believe me, “Enlightened” is not exaggerating how much of a struggle that can sometimes be. It is a constant work in progress – or a downright battle, leastwise when I get behind the wheel. Seriously, I might have to start chanting and/or praying. Help me out, fellow Jersey drivers, will ya?

Could Amy's (Laura Dern) facial expression and body language be any more different from Levi's (Luke Wilson)?/Photos by HBO

Day-to-day dealings with people can be just as challenging. Particularly if that person(s) is in a negative frame of mind. Remaining positive and not letting that permeate and negatively affect my mood can be downright difficult. So I definitely feel for Amy when her mother (Diane Ladd) doesn’t understand why Amy would pray for her, much less thank her for doing it; when her ex-husband Levi (Luke Wilson) doesn’t appreciate the beauty of nature because he’s too busy thinking about where his next high is coming from; and when her boss and co-workers (save for one, played by “Enlightened” creator Mike White) don’t comprehend why the plight of an illegal alien mother being threatened with deportation is so important.

Case in point: I originally wrote the above sentence as “when her mother can’t“; “when her ex-husband can’t” and “when her boss and co-workers can’t.” It’s not really that they can’t, because nothing is physically preventing them from doing these things. It’s simply that they’ve chosen (consciously or unconsciously) not to. You know, free will and all that.

You may feel as if you're walking on this path alone, but you're really not. I'm there, too.

Which, of course, is not to say that you will necessarily be happy if you choose to be happy. But by making a conscious choice to do so means that you acknowledge happiness and accept the possibility of being happy. And I  believe acknowledging and being aware of things is what enlightened really is all about.

My path of enlightenment began with a series of traumatic events (including, but not limited to): the deaths of my father and my cat, my mother’s serious illness, the end of romantic relationships, and the termination of my career. Loss, loss, and more loss, all within five years. It was a lot to bear. How did I – and do I – continue to deal?

• I take a yoga class once a week at Onsen For All in Kingston, NJ. I find it both challenging, relaxing and refreshing, as it requires that I focus on the poses instead of my ever-rambling thoughts. Is it merely a coincidence that I drive by the largest and tallest Buddha statue in the United States on the way there? I think not. (Yes, folks, the Garden State does indeed have it all.)
• I read a lot of books on a variety of subjects, including developing intuition, past-life regression, and communicating with spirits. I highly recommend Shakti Gawain’s entire series of books, but most especially “Living in the Light” and “Creative Visualization.”  I also enjoy reading Brian T. Weiss, John Edward, James Van Praagh, and Dick Sutphen.
• I meditate every morning. As of today, 11/11/11, I’ve meditated a total of 147 days, or 17 hours and 29 minutes. I use an app on my phone called Insight Timer, which keeps track of my daily meditations.
• I surround myself with like-minded people. Since June of 2010, I’ve attended spiritual, psychic, and mediumistic development classes at The Lippincott Center for Well-Being in Somerville, NJ. Through instruction by the center’s director, Trish Woods, and other guest teachers, I study and practice psychic and mediumistic readings. Trish’s classes have taught me the importance of meditation and the power of prayer (neither of which, until now, I had ever done). I have also learned to listen to my inner voice, talk with spirit, and trust my instincts.
• I make a list every night of five things I’m grateful for that day. I keep track of them via Happy Rambles. I admit it, some days I struggle to think of five. But I do it, even if I can only think of the sun coming out or not getting stuck behind that slow driver. It’s all part of being A-W-A-R-E.

"Enlightened" stars (and creator) Mike White and Laura Dern.

As my yoga instructor, Brian, says at the end of each class:

May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you be at ease.

And really, isn’t that all any of us want?

(NOTE: Some content after the jump is NSFW. Click at your own risk)

1) Crazy people invade your home and terrorize you.

Check.

2) Crazy woman locks her daughter in the closet.

Check.

3) A crazy old dead woman lusts after Daddy, who, by the way, sees her as a smokin’ hot young thang. (Warning: This clip contains nudity and is definitely NSFW.)

Check.

4) A crazy ghost(s) who just wants to play ball with you. Oh, and who also was drowned in a bathtub with a necklace of some significance around their neck.

Check.

5) Crazed killers with a fondness for wielding an ax at your midsection.

Check.

I wonder if next week’s episode will include a videotape that kills you if you watch it, birds that peck you to death, or little kids that astral project themselves into other, scary dimensions. Heck, maybe it will include all three. I’m ready. Bring it on!

Somehow, this makes "American Horror Story's" scary images bearable. Keep 'em coming, FX!

Fancy, designer gowns aside, you and I have more in common with "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" than you probably realize./Photo credit Bravo

Yes, my friends, this Jersey girl is prepared to admit it right now: I’m finding myself relating much more – and feeling gobs more empathy – toward the women of Beverly Hills this season than I do about the women of my home, the Garden State.

And while you may think you have nothing in common with these women, I’m here to tell you you’re wrong. And here’s why:

Kim Richards: Witch Mountain, take me away.

Kim: While it would be cruel to make any assumptions about issues she may or may not be struggling with, I think it is safe to say she at the very least is suffering from empty nest syndrome. With her children either grown or growing increasingly independent, Kim is having to adjust to living alone. Combine that with her desire to have a man in her life (as evidenced by her friends’ attempts last season at setting her up), and it’s pretty plain to see Kim is a very lonely woman. It’s also fair to assume that there is a good bit of sibling rivalry going on between Kim and her younger sister, Kyle, that in all likelihood began way back when they were child actors in Hollywood. And I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that Kim uses humor to mask her insecurities. Is there a woman alive who hasn’t experienced one or all of these issues?

Yo, Adrienne (Maloof)! We can relate!

Adrienne: While it seems she is one of the most level-headed of the Beverly Hills housewives, Adrienne has her own issues to deal with. First and foremost, it’s apparent she struggles in her relationship with her husband, plastic surgeon Paul Nassif. She is a very dominant, decisive woman who grew up in a very successful, business-oriented family, while Paul appears more much more laid back and cautious. It became clear in this week’s episode that Adrienne is slightly embarrassed by Paul’s less-than-buff physique (however real-world realistic it is). Again, what woman hasn’t at one time or another been mortified by something her significant other has said or done?

Kyle Richards: Mothering your kids is hard enough. But your sister? Enough already.

Kyle: The younger sibling of Kim is not just a mother to her four daughters – she’s also a pseudo-mom to Kim. She has said more than once on the show that she promised their late mother she would look after her older sister, and we’ve seen her do that repeatedly. It is second nature for Kyle to either apologize for her sister’s behavior, be embarrassed by it, or make excuses for it. Who can blame Kyle from vacillating between feeling sorry for and guilty about her sister and being angry with her – and yes, maybe even resenting her? Especially when that complicated relationship threatens her marriage to her hot, buff husband, Mauricio Umansky.

Don't judge Camille Grammer until you've walked a mile in her Louboutins.

Camille: The perhaps most-hated housewife of Season 1 has turned over a new leaf, revealing a vulnerable side that’s longing to connect with the other women. Even if you’ve never been betrayed by your husband/lover, you can’t help but feel for Camille as she struggles to deal with Kelsey’s very public infidelity, which was quickly followed by a divorce from Camille and immediate marriage to his latest honey. Add to that her understandably acrimonious feelings toward the father of her children and a rough adjustment to a life as a single parent, and you’ve got a woman you can’t help but empathize with. Who hasn’t imagined what she would do if she was in Camille’s shoes?

Taylor Armstrong: As her last name suggests, she will find the strength to move on with her life.

Taylor: Although we all know what happened once the Bravo cameras stopped rolling on this season, we’ve seen Taylor struggle to come to terms with the fact that her marriage may very well be over. As evidenced by her near breakdown in Colorado, Taylor is having a difficult time imagining her life without her husband (or the support of a spouse) in it. She appears to have an almost paralyzing fear of being alone. And really, who can fault her? Nobody wants to be alone, and raising a young daughter on her own makes that life seem even more daunting. But when it comes to her physical and mental health (not to mention that of her child), is being alone really that terrible of an alternative?

Lisa Vanderpump: Gettin' Giggy with it.

Lisa: While she tends to keep things very close to the vest, it can’t be denied that Lisa is extremely attached to her adorable little Pomeranian, Giggy. He goes everywhere with her, and it’s not unreasonable to say that she treats him like he’s a human child. Perhaps Giggy helps lessen Lisa’s own empty nest syndrome, as her children are out of the house and she’s (thankfully) kicked Cedric to the curb. Although Lisa and her husband, Ken Todd, seem very close, it is apparent that she rules the roost and he’s just along for the ride. I think they would both benefit from some having some grandchildren to dote on and spoil. You hear that, Pandora?

Oh, Jordan Catalano.../All photos by ABC

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen it – over 15 years in the case of some episodes – but I quickly fell in love with it all over again.

That was especially true of last week’s episode, “In Dreams Begin Responsibilities,” which was particularly bittersweet, amazing, and devastating – because it was the final episode E-V-E-R. How on earth could we just be left hanging like that, never knowing for certain whether Angela Chase finally got over her Jordan Catalano-centric obsession (however understandable it was), realized that her childhood bud Brian Krakow has loved her and worshiped her for, like, forever, and actually acted upon it?

Hey, Angela, give the guy a chance.

I mean, seriously. You gotta hand it to a guy who repeatedly put his heart on the line for a girl who – until literally the last freakin’ minutes of this series – was either oblivious or in denial (or both) to his affections. Brian tutored a near-illiterate Jordan (who hilariously called him “Brain” because he actually thought that was his name) simply to be near the girl he loved and to make her happy. Not only that, but he agreed to put his feelings to paper, in a teenage, super-angsty version of  Cyrano de Bergerac, that Jordan would then pass off as his own.

Dear Angela,

I know in the past I’ve caused you pain and I’m sorry. And I’ll always be sorry till the day I die. And I hate this pen I’m holding because I should be holding you. I hate this paper under my hand because it isn’t you. I even hate this letter because it’s not the whole truth. Because the whole truth is so much more than a letter can even say. If you want to hate me, go ahead. If you want to burn this letter, do it. You can burn the whole world down, you can tell me to go to hell – I’d go. If you wanted me to. And I’d send you a letter from there.

Sincerely,

Jordan Catalano

Seriously, wouldn’t you just die if someone wrote you a letter like that? Of course, in an ideal world Jordan would be as articulate, thoughtful, emotionally-aware, and prolific as he is drop-dead gorgeous. But hey, we can’t have it all.

Who was always there to make sure Angela came home, safe and sound? Yup, Brian Krakow.

And it was wonderful to watch Brian, who, through the majority of the series was portrayed as a high-strung, touchy, know-it-all who appeared oblivious to everyone’s feelings but his own (he treated his admirer, Delia Fisher, with about as much consideration as Angela treated him) evolve into a legitimate, romantic suitor.

The best part? Angela finally saw it, too. But would she act on it? Sadly, we will never know.

With a series finale like this, I have but one thing to say:

You’re so beautiful, “My So-Called Life,” it hurts to look at you.

But in 2001, September took on a whole new meaning.

Words fail me.

To say September 11, 2001, was a defining moment in my life is an understatement. It brought horror, disbelief, and an unrelenting sadness home on a magnitude of nothing else I had experienced until then. (Since, I’ve endured the death of my father, the loss of a longtime job, the death of my eldest cat, and my mother’s cancer diagnosis - grief-filled to the last.)

Its scope was ceaseless, too. If you lived anywhere in the Tri-State area, the signs of 9/11 were unavoidable no matter where you went. It was nigh impossible for me, because at the time I was working for a daily newspaper in Central New Jersey.

As an editor on the copy desk, I selected state, national and international articles to include in the paper each day, and all of the paper’s local stories also filtered through me. So it’s definitely not an exaggeration to say my work day largely consisted of the devastation in New York, the Pentagon, and Shanksville, Pennsylvania.

The terrorist attacks of 9/11 became one of the few times in recent memory that the newspaper printed a special edition.

I worked nights at the time, too, so I’d watch 9/11-related programs on television in the morning and late at night, sandwiching a shift full of 9/11 newspaper content in between. It was 9/11, 24/7.

Central Jerseyans were at the heart of many of the stories, too. Most famously was Cranbury (Middlesex County) resident Todd Beamer, who, according to reports, lead a passenger revolt against United Flight 93′s hijackers. Todd’s spirited cry of  “Let’s roll!” became an oft-quoted symbol of the American spirit.

I cried a lot during this time; it was hard not to. And now, 10 years later, it doesn’t take much for me to burst into tears. Heck, I did it just now, while searching through the 9/11 newspapers I’ve collected. Just glancing at the names and faces of the victims and their families, and seeing images of the crumbling towers brings back a torrent of emotions. This is one wound that I don’t know if time will ever heal.

I notice that there are going to be a lot of programs dedicated to the 10th anniversary of 9/11 in the next week. In addition to the ones listed in the aforementioned link, TLC airs “9/11: Heroes of the 88th Floor” (see clip above) tonight at 9. I am always leery of re-enactments – especially ones of this scope and importance – but somehow knowing Chris Noth (“Sex and the City’s” Mr. Big) narrates this special makes me feel better. Bio Channel, meanwhile, has a special 9/11-themed episode of “I Survived…” which airs at 8 p.m. Tuesday (see clip below).

Also, if you’re in the mood for reflecting on 9/11, I highly recommend “Remember Me.” I recently saw it and was very impressed by the romance between Robert Pattinson and Emilie de Ravin, set against the backdrop of a pre-9/11 New York City. The ending, I guarantee, is not one you’ll soon forget.

If you already know the ending of "Remember Me," then you will understand the meaning behind this picture./Photo by Summit Entertainment

Sometimes I'm able to look at this amazingly beautiful image (by photographer Jerry Driendl) without focusing on the pain and loss of 9/11.

But I don’t have to look very far to be reminded of 9/11 on a daily basis. A gorgeous, framed portrait of an unmarred New York City skyline hangs on a wall in my living room. And a similarly beautiful picture of the Twin Towers hugging the Statue of Liberty – which I tore from the September 28, 2001, issue of Entertainment Weekly – has been affixed to my refrigerator for the last decade. I find its accompanying quote – spoken by chief architect Minoru Yamasaki during the construction of the towers – particularly poignant:

“The World Trade Center is a living symbol of man’s dedication to world peace… a representation of man’s belief in humanity, his need for individual dignity, his beliefs in the cooperation of men, and, through cooperation, his ability to find greatness.”

Oh yes, he is!

“He’s not a fake wannabe tryin’ to be a pimp

He dresses like a dapper don, but even in jeans

He’s a God-sent original, the man of my dreams”

Boy, Salt ‘N’ Pepa and En Vogue really were onto something, weren’t they? Then again, this song was penned in the mid-’90s, which is right about the same time I was totally geeking out lusting after men of the U.K. Actors, more specifically.

And I had a major flashback this weekend – via some British/Scottish-specific beefcake viewing – that reminded me that they are, indeed, God-sent originals.

"Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds. Or bends with the remover to remove. Oh no! It is an ever fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken. Willoughby. Willoughby. Willoughby."

I began ruminating on this predilection of mine while watching Hallmark Channel’s “Honeymoon For One” – with my mouth hanging open. The scenery was just exquisite, and I’m not talking solely about the Irish countryside. Sure, that was lovely, too, but it was the sight of John Willougby that really got my blood pumping.

Well, OK, his name is really Greg Wise – but he’ll always be Willoughby to me.

It’s been a decade-and-a-half since “Sense and Sensibility,” so I completely relished all of the Greg face time in “Honeymoon.” And, I’m happy to report, I was not disappointed in the least.

Since the clip above doesn’t show nearly enough of him, here are a few stills that prove he’s still got IT. (He’s also got a wife – Emma Thompson – and a daughter, but I’ll conveniently forget about that as I ogle away.)

That "come hither" look works every blessed time./"Honeymoon For One" photos by Hallmark Channel

Pairing him up with a cute kid? Now that's just cruel and unusual...

Nicolette who? Time for Photoshop to work its magic.

Then I moved on to “Masterpiece Mystery’s” miniseries “Zen,” starring another of my imaginary British lovahs, Rufus Sewell.

Gazing deeply into Rufus Sewell's eyes is definitely one way to achieve zen.

Like Greg, Rufus has been a particular favorite of mine for quite a few years. I saw “Dangerous Beauty” and – as you can understand from this clip – I was a total goner:

My interest increased tenfold when I saw him perform “Luther” on a London stage in 2001. (I sa-wear he looked directly at me. We totally shared a moment. Yeah, right.)  Since then, Rufus has appeared in numerous films, including the HBO miniseries “John Adams.” (He played Alexander Hamilton, who was shot and subsequently died from a duel in Weehawken, NJ. Holla!  I knew there was a Jersey connection in here somewhere!) Rufus has also been cast as the lead villain in the upcoming movie “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.”

Anyway, I was thrilled when PBS showed “Zen” three weeks straight. Although to be honest, this scene (in the first episode, which also featured the aforementioned Greg Wise) totally freaked me out and confirmed the reason why I will never go spelunking:

I also managed to snag some time to watch the latest episode of “Burn Notice,” which starred, I’m sure you won’t be surprised in the least to hear, yet another object of my fantasies. I have two words for you: James Frain.

You want a piece of me? Why, yes, thank you for asking.

Or Franklin Mott, whichever you prefer. Actually, I’d prefer it if Franklin Mott hadn’t gotten blown to bits on “True Blood” (thanks a lot, Tara) last season, but hey, you can’t have everything. It was fun while it lasted, though:

So since James’ days in Bon Temps were numbered, and his time amongst “The Tudors” had expired and viewers weren’t flocking to “The Cape” like NBC wanted, I was kinda going through Frain withdrawal. Fortunately, his appearance as a (guess what?) villain in last week’s “Burn Notice” assuaged me – at least for the moment.

And it got me thinking about the first time I recall seeing James. It was in a – surprise, surprise! – “Masterpiece Theatre” series called “The Buccaneers.”

Yes, you were seeing correctly: The film also stars Greg Wise!

(Maybe I should rename this post “Six Degrees of Separation”…)

Jump on in, the water's fine. Don't mind if I do...

My summation of this weekend’s activities wouldn’t be complete without the inclusion of the gorgeous man behind the “Phantom of the Opera” mask, Gerard Butler. Though there was no hint of his Scottish brogue in the film, his soulful performance, passable singing, and hawt-as-all-get-out looks made it mandatory viewing for me. Here’s why:

While “Phantom” is what got me hooked on the Gerard bandwagon, his sensitive turns in “Dear Frankie” and “P.S. I Love You” sealed the deal. Heck, I even thought he was charming in “The Ugly Truth.”

And that, in a not so succinct manner, is how I spent my weekend. Not too shabby, is it? Of course, the appearance of two more British boys would’ve really made it a weekend to remember.

Break me off a piece of that. Please?

Like Sean Bean, for example.

Sean and I go way back (strictly plantonically speaking, I’m sorry to say). Sure, I was shocked and devastated to see his character massacred in “Game of Thrones,” but it was his role as the villainous – but oh-so-sexy and seductive – rake Robert Lovelace in the terrific “Masterpiece Theatre” bodice-ripping yarn “Clarissa” that got me hooked on him in the first place. Look at this – and truly appreciate the heaving bosom and heavy breathing:

Like Rufus, Sean has a propensity for being cast as a villain – and maybe that’s because he does it so well. I’ve enjoyed watching his evil ways in “National Treasure,” “Goldeneye,” “Don’t Say a Word,” and “The Hitcher.” And, fortunately for me, he’s got a mid-season television series, “Missing,” coming up in the new year.

I like you very much - just as you are, too.

I would’ve also liked this weekend to have included an appearance by Colin Firth, who plays prickly men named Darcy so very well. Just watch:

Several years after this classic BBC production of “Pride and Prejudice,” he completely charmed me all over again in “Bridget Jones’s Diary.” Apparently, nice boys do kiss like that:

Le sigh.

I don’t suppose there’s a chance in hell I’ll stumble upon a dashing Brit during my daily jaunts around Central New Jersey…  is there?

Inspiration strikes me at the strangest times.

Welcome! Come in, have a seat. Please keep your mouth shut and your cell phone off.

Take this particular post, for example. I was in bed last night, ready to power down my cell when I stumbled across a tweet relating to a post about movie theater etiquette. It’s sheer brilliance on the part of the author, Matt Singer, a film writer for IFC. He had me at his post’s subhed: “Help us take back movie theaters from the a-holes of the world.” Matt has also started a petition - which I signed and hope you do, too – in which people promise to be on their best behavior in movie theaters.

I’ve witnessed and been subjected to enough thoughtless, annoying people that this subject couldn’t come at a better time. I’ve been to a couple of movies in the past two weeks, and I think we could all use a refresher course in public courtesy. During a weekday matinée of  “Rise of the Planet of the Apes,” a friend and I witnessed a mother and father (who sat down in front of us) who couldn’t keep their young son quiet (he yapped through the entire movie), another father who had the exact same problem with his young daughter, and an adult male who kept flailing his fists against his chest (like a Jerseyfied King Kong, if you will), causing our entire row of seats to shake violently.

Clearly DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince were right: Parents just don’t understand. To quote the Pet Shop Boys, what have I done to deserve this? If you know your child has a hard time keeping quiet, why don’t you sit in a section of the theater where you won’t be a nuisance and a distraction to anyone other than, you know, yourself?

I’m so passionate about this subject that I honestly think movie theaters should adopt the policy that if a patron’s behavior is so intolerable that another patron finds it necessary to exit the theater and report them – thereby missing out on the movie themselves – they should be entitled to see the film again, gratis.

Matt’s post got me thinking about the most aggravating experiences I’ve had at the movies. Here are my top three:

Even Daniel Day-Lewis' freaky eyeball wasn't enough to distract me from the nonsense going on around me in the theater.

1. “Gangs of New York” (2002): This one takes the cake. A friend (with a very short fuse) and I attended a matinée for this nearly three-hour-long, ho-hum opus. We sat in the very back of the theater, which was pretty empty. After the film started (the previews were already done), in walked a geriatric couple hauling a huge paper shopping bag. They chatted (loudly) as they made their way sloooowly to their seats a few rows beneath us and to the right. Once they were settled, the real fun began. They conversed with one another as if they were alone, sitting in their living room. This loud chatter was accompanied by incessant rattling of the huge paper shopping bag. It was too dark, so we couldn’t make out what was inside the bag. But it didn’t take long for the smell of fried chicken (my guess is KFC) to permeate the entire theater. Munching, rattling and chatting continued, unabated, for a while until my friend – who was by this point twitching in anger – shouted at them to knock it off.

In the wake of 9/11, you might wonder why a movie theater would permit anyone to bring a huge paper shopping bag in with them. (This theater is stand-alone and not connected to a mall or any other stores.) We wondered that, too. At the end of the movie, as we left the theater, we spotted the couple – still with huge paper shopping bag in tow – walk into an adjacent theater showing a different film.  That was the final straw. My friend made a beeline for the manager.

I’ve never seen “Gangs of New York” again.

No comprende? Let me translate for you.

2. “In the Bedroom” (2001): A year earlier, I sat in a crowded theater watching this highly acclaimed film. Through much of it, I was totally distracted by the couple sitting directly behind me. At first, I thought they were having a conversation. But I gradually figured out that the man, who was speaking Spanish, was actually translating the dialogue for his date. Seriously?

I haven’t watched this film again, either, but that’s probably because it’s so dark and depressing.

I wanted to scream, too, during this movie - but for entirely different reasons.

3. “The Ring” (2002): My first mistake was seeing this excellent horror flick in a mall movie theater. My second mistake was seeing it at night. The theater was full of wild (no exaggeration there) teenagers who yelled, hooted, hollered, screamed and cursed throughout the entire film. Other patrons’ attempts at shushing them were challenged with bravado statements such as, “Come over here and make me.” If any ushers patrolled the theater, nothing was done to put an end to the nonsense or remove them from the theater. And since I had a long, dark walk through the parking deck to my car, I wasn’t about to say anything, either.

Fortunately, that experience hasn’t dampened my appreciation for this movie. I’ve watched it numerous times since.

You haven't lived until you've shrieked in concert with a room full of strangers.

On the flip side, I have had pleasant experiences at the movies. One that comes immediately to mind is “What Lies Beneath.” I love this movie, and each time I catch it on television I wish I could recapture the fun I had watching it in a theater full of people who were also having the pants scared off them.

Unlike many horror films, "Insidious" doesn't use music to warn you when something scary is going to happen.

I had a similar experience recently when I saw “Insidious.” However, that viewing was tainted by misbehaving patrons who were reamed out by a security guard. By the end of the altercation, the security guard had done more to distract and interrupt the film for the rest of us than the initial disturbance did.

What are some of your movie theater horror stories? Please consider signing the petition - and follow it up by being courteous the next time you’re in the theater. I thank you in advance.

I’ve been diligently couponing for the past few months. But let me tell you, not every day is like an “Extreme Couponing” episode.

In fact, most days are definitely not. But I am saving a lot of money when I match coupons up to store sales, and I don’t think I’ll ever go back to shopping blindly again. I pay a lot closer attention to emails I receive from stores and brands now, as well as couponing blogs that take the guesswork out of smart shopping.

The regular prices for the Cheerios and Maybelline mascara alone would've cost me more than I paid for this entire order yesterday./All photos by Ava Gacser

Take my trip to ShopRite yesterday morning. I scored 4 boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios (12.25 oz), 2 Lysol toilet bowl cleaners, 3 Suave deodorants, 2 Maybelline Great Lash mascaras, 1 bag of chips, and 3 newspapers for just $21.13 after coupons! And that’s not counting a $2 Catalina coupon I received upon checkout for a future order!

From there I went to yoga and then to Wegmans, where I was super pleased to run into these fellas:

Now appearing at your local supermarket: The brothers Manzo!

Yes, you’re seeing straight: Chris, left, and Albie Manzo – sons of “Real Housewives of New Jersey” star Caroline Manzo – stopped by Wegmans in Princeton yesterday to promote their new drink, Blk. The guys have been on a *tour* of the Garden State visiting assorted supermarkets to get the word out about Blk. (For the record, the drink is actually dark in color, but the sample they gave me tasted just fine!)

New Pier 1 glasses, meet Skinnygirl Sangria!

Unfortunately for them, I was soon distracted by a display of very reasonably priced ($13.99!!!)  Skinnygirl Margaritas one aisle over. I headed over to Wegmans’ wine shop and scored my first-ever bottle of Skinnygirl Sangria (also $13.99). I was doubly thrilled, as this was the first time I’d seen the sangria in the flesh and the price was fabulous (I’ve been paying $16.99 at a local liquor store!).

Of course, the irony of my being distracted from the stars of “Real Housewives of New Jersey” for products that are the brainchild of former “Real Housewives of New York City” star Bethenny Frankel does not escape me.

Needless to say, I am looking forward to imbibing some sangria later today out of the gorgeous turquoise goblets I snagged recently at Pier 1 for just $4 (they were $7 each, but I had a $10 coupon!).

And now it's time for the airing of grievances. I've got a lot of problems with you people...

Not all of my shopping experiences are positive, though. Take recent incidents I’ve had with Maybelline eyeliner and Laughing Cow cheese, for example.

I've officially given up buying Maybelline's Unstoppable eyeliner after this happened one too many times.

I’ve been diligently purchasing Maybelline’s Unstoppable eyeliner for some time now, and I currently own several shades, including onyx, cinnabar, sapphire, and my favorite, pewter. I like this particular kind of eyeliner because it’s nice and soft, like a crayon, not hard like a pencil. But I won’t buying any more, ever. On more than one occasion – most recently last week – I opened the pewter one and a chunk of eyeliner fell out. It doesn’t matter if I fully retract the eyeliner into the cylinder or not, because when I pull the top off a piece of eyeliner goes flying. I would estimate a quarter to a third of the entire stick has been wasted as a result. As you know, this stuff isn’t cheap. All of this makes me wonder if it’s called Unstoppable because it won’t stop breaking.

I’m equally displeased with Laughing Cow, but for an entirely different reason. You see, I love Laughing Cow’s products. I’m a cheese fiend to begin with, and their delicious Creamy Swiss cheese wedges and Mini Babybels are regular snacks in my home. But now I’m determined to wean myself off that particular addiction.

I'm warning you, fridge. Don't get too attached.

Why? A) Because it’s expensive and B) because of the company’s lousy customer service. I emailed Laughing Cow (via its website) when I discovered that SmartSource coupons for their products ($1 off two cheese wedges or Mini Babybel cheese) that were supposed to have been in newspapers Aug. 7 weren’t. (And believe me, I looked! I checked all three of my local papers and none of them had it.) I began to wonder if only certain regions of the country got this coupon. Then I received this response:

Dear Ms. Gacser,

Thank you for your interest in our Laughing Cow and Mini Babybel products. It is always a pleasure to hear from our loyal and satisfied customers.

We are sorry to report that Laughing Cow and Mini Babybel do not offer samples or coupons by request.  Coupons are offered periodically through several sources: on the internet at our website www.thelaughingcow.com , in your local news media, and sometimes included in the coupons inserts that accompany many weekend newspapers.

Again, we thank you for contacting us, and giving us the opportunity to respond.

Sincerely,

Customer Service

bel brands USA

If they’d actually bothered reading my email, they would know I was not satisfied. They did not address my specific point about it not being fair if their coupon only appeared in certain regions of the country. If that was indeed the case – and if they really wanted to keep me “satisfied” – wouldn’t they have been happy to send me a few coupons? That would’ve made me happy and guaranteed I’d continue being a loyal customer for years to come. But they didn’t. Sadly, I have only one package of Creamy Swiss wedges left in my refrigerator – and, as my mother says, you bet your sweet bippy it’ll be my last.

Who’s laughing now, Laughing Cow?