“Rock of Love Bus”: Wassa goin’ on here?

Ding dong –  the witch is dead!

Some things are just not meant to be./VH1

Some things are just not meant to be./VH1

I’ve been hoping for weeks now that Bret would see the light and kick Juliette Lewis – ooops, I mean Ashley – to the curb. But now that it’s actually happened, I have to say that I’m really going to miss her. Miss Mouth was full of hilarious one-liners, and the girls who are left behind pale in comparison.

Of course, they’re also much nicer and aren’t cheating on their baby daddies, either…

Seriously, look at her boobs. (Like it's possible to look anywhere else.) Each one is as big as Mindy's head!/VH1

Seriously, look at Ashley's boobs. (Like it's possible to look anywhere else.) Each one is as big as Mindy's head!/VH1

I’m not surprised in the least that Bret eliminated Brittanya, though I’m surprised that it took this long. I guess she figured that if Heather can pummel Daisy during last year’s “Rock of Love 2” reunion that she could do the same. Maybe spitting at Heather did the trick? On “Rock of Love: Charm School,” spitting was enough to get Brandi C. sent home. Oh, Brittanya, did you learn nothing?

I find it incredibly hard to believe that Brittanya, who showed no emotion the entire series, became so enraged and impassioned. Puhleese.

There were so many hilarious moments in today’s episode that I’m not sure where to begin.

“An ex-boyfriend’s a lot like a living sex tape,” intoned Bret. “You never know when they’re gonna surface, and you never know how much you’re going to expose.”

Thanks for the analogy, Bret.

Gosh, I still really like Beverly, but dang, most of the time I just want to shake her. She could be a serious contender – heck, she’s now officially in the final four – but she needs to get her act together, pronto. Stop whining about how nobody loves you. “My ex doesn’t even have enough respect for me to show up,” she wailed. Who wants to be around someone who’s always crying or drunk or both? Ugh. Enough already!

This picture just hints at the nuttiness that is Brittanya./VH1

This picture just hints at the nuttiness that is Brittanya./VH1

Brittanya’s hookup, Royal T, was a trip. It was real classy of him to refer to her as his piece of you-know-what. Taya’s ex, Jaz, was just a raging misogynist, and Ambre should’ve socked him for referring to her hair as “stapled-a** extensions.”

And James, Ashley’s baby daddy (with whom she still shacks up, apparently sleeps with and evidently has a tattoo of on her breast), was a piece of work, too. “Now that I came, she ain’t gonna be fightin’ for Bret no more,” he promised Ambre and Heather.

The “Wassa Goin’ On Court” segment was hi-lar-ious. I know Bret says that a lot, but I crack up every time I hear it. I may just have to incorporate it into my everyday speech.

At the beginning of the episode, Ashley whined about her remaining competitors. “This is the most boring conversation that I have ever had… I’d rather sit here in silence to be honest with you.”

At the end of the episode – right after she was eliminated – she echoed a similar sentiment.

“I was having fun until my BF Farrah left,” she moaned. “And then Bret got rid of her and I had to be stuck with these girls who made me want to kill myself. Seriously, they talked about cereal for three hours yesterday. Are you kidding me?”

So much for her love affair with Bret, too. “Good luck having fun with Gopher and the 1986 prom queen,” Ashley said in her parting shot.

Who on earth is she talking about?

Take a peek at the upcoming “Rock of Love” spin-off, “Daisy of Love,” by going here.

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