“The Real Housewives of New Jersey”: Take one

Well, you’ve seen it and I’ve seen it. “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” are no longer a mystery to us. So what did you think? Do you find them more down-to-earth and relatable than Orange County, Atlanta or New York City? Or are they just as deluded?

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As you may know, I blogged/tweeted live during the show’s premiere. Here’s what I thought – and remember, this is coming from a genuine Jersey girl (read: not rich).

On seeing Teresa’s high school yearbook picture: Oh boy, I’m having serious flashbacks. I knew girls in school who had hair just like that. Not me, of course.

On learning Teresa’s hubby Joe is more of an “a** guy”: TMI!

On hearing Teresa say her hubby is “delicious and juicy”: Really? This guy here?

On seeing Joe crack himself up when telling an employee to lock up the business safe because Teresa is there: Tackety-tack-tack.

On Teresa swearing that she could “run around naked” on her new property and nobody would know: Take that, New York City!

On seeing Teresa dole out over $120,360 in cash: Wow. I’m speechless. I’ve never seen $5,000 in cash, much less $120,000.

On hearing Teresa say living in anything other than a brand-new home is “gross”: You’re kidding. You did grow up in Paterson, right?

On hearing Dina utter “bubbies” for the first time: Sigh. I know this is going to get old, quick.

On seeing Jacqueline admitting she used to think that New Jersey was “the armpit of the earth:” Thanks for the shout out, Jacqueline. Sincerely, The Armpit of the Earth

On hearing Jacqueline say all anyone in Jersey talks about is their cars and their money: Wow, I really need to get out more. But I can’t, because I’m too busy working to afford the (Honda) car.

On seeing Jacqueline’s 17-year-old daughter Ashley compliment her mom by saying, “I like that she’s a young mom. She’s like the mom from ‘Mean Girls:'”  What a compliment!

On witnessing Danielle say that “People might find me to be a little too much”: I can see that, especially if you tell them that right away.

On watching Danielle boast about her former career working for the Ford modeling agency: What-evah! (In an article this week, The New York Post disputes that claim and says Ford has no record of Danielle ever modeling for it.)

On hearing Danielle brag about meeting celebs, being engaged 20 times and getting a black Amex card before Madonna: Yawn, yawn and yawn.

On Danielle swearing that her daughters, 10 and 14 are “my best friends. They’re my girlfriends”: One word – disturbing.

On learning that Jacqueline was subjected to nude photos of Danielle within a half-hour of meeting her: OMG! You mean you don’t show everyone you meet nude pictures of yourself?

On Caroline saying she hopes her son’s business venture will be a “respectful strip club”: What is Caroline’s definition of “respectful”? The mind boggles.

On Dina’s daughter Lexi being such a diva:  Dina, honey, you better nip her in the bud, right now!

On seeing Teresa’s little girl (how old is she – 5?) yelling “Fabulous” as Teresa takes her photo: Scary! Oh, no, Teresa’s definitely not a stage mom. Paging “Toddlers &Tiaras”!

The restaurant that Teresa and Jacqueline follow Danielle to on her stood-up date with Gucci Model is Lua in Hoboken, which overlooks the Manhattan skyline. Pretty!

On hearing Danielle tell off Gucci Model in a voicemail – “Have a good life – or die. I don’t care”: Greatest line EVER.

On seeing Dina deliberately park in a handicapped spot: Oh no she didn’t!

That’s Chateau Salon in Franklin Lakes.

So what did everyone think of the show?

8 Comments

  1. Mel said,

    May 24, 2009 at 6:13 pm

    DINA AND CAROLINE YOU ARE BOTH RIGHT ABOUT DANIELLE…BECAREFUL WITH THE HUBBIES. SHE CANNOT BE TRUSTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH HER LINES BABY I LOVE YOU….YOUR MY DEAR FRIEND…YEAH RIGHT!!!

  2. Mel said,

    May 24, 2009 at 6:12 pm

    oops YOU ARE SUCH A LIER!! YES YOU ALSO DO LOT’S OF SUCKING WE ARE SURE!! YOU ARE NOT A FRIEND…JACQUELINE WATCH YOURSELF…TRUST ME!!

  3. Mel said,

    May 24, 2009 at 6:11 pm

    Danielle real name is Beverly it’s in the book “Cop without a Badge” her x-hubby wrote the book. Danielle the ONLY reason you HAD a black AMEX is because of your wealthy x-hubby #2, 3, 4, ??? You are suck a LIER!!!

  4. Mary said,

    May 16, 2009 at 10:09 pm

    Is it me or does Danielle look and act like Luann from housewives NY? I certainly think there is some sister act happening there.

  5. Chris said,

    May 15, 2009 at 10:57 pm

    I can just imagine what the so called “Gucci Model” looks like. I mean seriously, who would be desperate enough to have sex with that. She must be paying them. She looks like a botoxed alien. Her face is frozen. I don’t get how she can’t see it. Freaky looking. This show is gonna be a freak show. I’ll definitely tune in for the laughs or disgust.

  6. avagacser said,

    May 13, 2009 at 4:25 pm

    Tania, I believe the site was http://www.wealthymen.com/?prg=1&id=domains.

  7. Heather said,

    May 13, 2009 at 2:18 pm

    Dina should know that karma is real…and so is the wrath of people with disabilities who can reach out and stop people from booking her family’s event center.

  8. tania said,

    May 13, 2009 at 1:02 pm

    what was the name of the website danielle met her gucci model? I’d like to see if he still has a profile!


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