“Jon & Kate Plus 8”: That’s all, folks!

You knew this was coming – it was sadly inevitable, really – but did you honestly think it would be done so publicly, on television for the world to see?

Of course, I only can make one assumption after watching this tantalizing yet depressing promo, and that’s that Jon and Kate Gosselin have officially called it quits and are divorcing. (Or maybe they’ll surprise us and announce that they are already divorced! Take that, paparazzi!)

I mean, what else could they possibly have to say? There’s no chance that they’re quitting the show, right? They’re in the midst of filming 40 – count ’em, 40! – episodes for TLC this season! Do you think there’s a chance the network will actually let them out of it?

A “Real Housewife” has real poor taste in men

Is it surprising that in addition to “hedonistic” photos from back in her modeling days, “The Real Housewives of New Jersey’s” Danielle Staub also has sex tapes stacked in her closet?

Steve makes Gucci Model look like a classy guy./Credit Bravo

Steve makes Gucci Model look like a classy guy./Credit Bravo

No, not really. And technically they’re not stacked in her closet – they’re in her one-time boy toy Steve Zalewski’s closet.

Oy vey.

Star magazine spoke to Steve, 27, who classily says he is considering selling the tapes to the highest bidder and dishes that Danielle was insatiable. (Though I doubt he knows  that particular word.)

“Not only does she want to have sex all the time, but she loves the thrill of doing it in public places, where she might get caught,” he told Star. “She wanted to make love in restaurant bathrooms basically every time we went out — she’d get all excited and say, ‘The people can hear you doing it outside!'”

(So why is it OK when Jada Pinkett-Smith says she and Will like to do the nasty in public places, but scandalous when Danielle does the same? Discuss.)

Steve goes on to say the breakup with Danielle was bad (it hardly appeared so on the show), mainly because she was always borrowing money from him.

“She tries to look affluent,” he tells Star. “But sometimes she couldn’t pay the household bills or buy food. Even then, she’d want to borrow 20 grand from me to buy jewelry!”

This guy’s got 20 grand?

And that is why, Star reports, Steve is considering selling the videos.

“I’m definitely weighing my options as far as selling them and getting them out there,” he says. “She cost me so much money, why shouldn’t I make a few dollars?”

A “Real Housewives of New Jersey” guide to the Garden State, take 3

I can’t believe it, but we’ve come to the end of the first season of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey.” It’s hard to imagine life without Teresa Giudice, Dina Manzo, Danielle Staub, Caroline Manzo and Jacqueline Laurita, much less the FABULOUS!!! granite and marble and onyx.

Now this we've got to see!/All photos credit Bravo

Now this we've got to see!/All photos credit Bravo

Where did these ladies visit and who did they see in this fantastically entertaining final episode? Take a look:

Episode 6

Cafe Amici (Wyckoff) – Italian restaurant that Caroline, Dina and Lexi visit for dinner. Dina ponders giving up her career as an event planner and interior decorator to stay home with her 12-year-old daughter, whom she’s dismayed to discover is growing up. “I turn around for five minutes to work and all of a sudden she’s got t***,” Dina tells her sister. Classy!

Bernard Kerik – A good family friend of Caroline and Albert Manzo, Kerik is the former New York police commissioner who is presently fending off such assorted charges as “lying to the White House, failing to declare income, filing false returns and corruption,” reports The Star-Ledger.  He’s also, apparently, a friend to dogs. The four-legged kind, I mean.

Didn't you just love the moment when Jacqueline finally snapped?

Don't you just love the moment when Jacqueline finally snapped?

Lu Nello (Cedar Grove) – This is it – the site of the fabulicious blow-out between Dina, Caroline, Teresa, Jacqueline and Danielle. (I’m still trying to figure out how Danielle smuggled in that copy of “Cop Without a Badge.” Clearly, it’s too big to fit in her purse.)  Yes, memories were made during this meal. I mean, will you be able to look at another oyster again without thinking about Joe Giudice’s raging libido? I wonder how much Bravo had to pay the place for Teresa’s little table-flipping incident? But the best part of the evening came when Jacqueline finally stood up to her sister-in-laws, shouting at one point, “You’re such a liar, Dina! I’m not covering for you anymore.” (I cheered, I admit it.)

Teresa Jersey girl. jpg

For those of you who are dying to get their hands on the “Jersey Girl” T-shirt Teresa sported in this episode (see above), you can do exactly that – by going here.

And those who are interested in learning what the “Real Housewives” are up to lately, The Star-Ledger has a short but informative piece right here. It includes such nuggets as this: It wasn’t Dina’s idea to park in the handicapped spot outside Chateau Salon.

Oh, and there’s also Dina’s interview with People in which she splits hairs about whether or not she was the one to blab about Danielle’s past. And Caroline talks to Newsweek.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Thankfully, the thrill is not totally gone just yet. We do have tonight’s director’s cut – dubbed “The Last Supper: Second Helping” – to delight us (tune in at 9 p.m. for that), and there’s also the highly anticipated two-part reunion, which airs next Tuesday and Thursday (both nights at 9 p.m., I believe).

And, as usual, you can view the master list of all of the faces and places of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” right here.

“Jon & Kate Plus 8”: Who let the dogs out?

Remember a few weeks ago how animal rights activists were up in arms about Jon Gosselin’s People interview?

The Gosselins hit the road.

The Gosselins hit the road.

In it he said the family’s two German Shepherd puppies, Shoka and Nala, were pretty much abused by the kids.

“Those kids beat them up, climb on them, pull their tails, bite at them, drag them around and everything you can imagine not to do to an animal, they’ve done,” he said.

Despite the protests from the local Pennsylvania Humane Society, I think most people realize the kids are just being kids – they’re not deliberately trying to be mean.

But when you hear their mother (that’s Kate Gosselin) utter what she uttered during the (90 minute!) “American Chopper” episode, you start to wonder if maybe these dogs would be better off with another family.

What did she say? Take a look (start at about 4:15):

“Put them in their crate,” Kate instructs Jon (who else?). “That’s where dogs belong.”

Look, we know Kate is a total control freak. But it seems to me that Kate didn’t get the puppies (I can’t say “purchase,” because we know this was just one of many free perks the family receives) simply to be pets for the kids.  They’re German Shepherds, for heaven’s sake. HELLO! (Sorry, I couldn’t resist.) They are there to protect and guard the family and the property – and to keep the paparazzi at bay, I’m sure. I wonder how that’s working out…

Anyway, I couldn’t help but notice that TLC edited this particular comment of hers right out of last night’s “Jon & Kate Plus 8” version of the “American Chopper” visit. Geez, I wonder why. In the meantime, I have to wonder if Kate ever actually listens to what comes out of her mouth. Does she realize how she comes across? And does she actually believe what she’s saying?

Yeah, I think she does.

“Jon & Kate Plus 8”: More gruel, please

Not surprisingly, a new video has surfaced which once again calls into question Kate Gosselin’s mothering skills. This time, Kate appears to purposefully ignore her 8-year-old daughter Mady’s repeated pleas for water prior to an interview with “Access Hollywood.”

After asking her mom for a drink several times, Kate requests a bottle of water. But when she gets it, her first thought is to take a drink herself… and then put the bottle away, ignoring Mady’s pleas.

“Mommy, you are really, really mean!” Mady cries.

Today, by the way, is Jon and Kate’s 10th wedding anniversary. They were married June 12, 1999, in Wyomissing, Pa.

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