Thanks a million!

It’s Christmas time, and I can’t think of a more perfect gift than this lil’ old blog reaching its 1 millionth hit.

Now, it’s official – that’s exactly what it’s done, a few months shy of its third anniversary. Thank you!

In addition to thanking you, my visitors, there are a few other people I must acknowledge. For without these individuals, my blog would not have reached this milestone for many, many more moons to come.

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“D” is for Danielle… and drama

During last season’s finale of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey,” table-flipper Teresa Giudice had had it up to here with castmate Danielle Staub.

I don't think we're going to see Danielle and Jacqueline break bread anytime soon.../Photo by Bravo

“You’re just trying to make drama, Danielle,” Teresa told her. “Your name should be Drama.”

Truer words were never spoken, I believe, especially after reading the news today that Danielle is accusing the teenage daughter of her former best friend, Jacqueline Laurita, of yanking out her hair extensions.

According to The Record, Danielle was due in municipal court today regarding the Nov. 11 incident, which took place at the North Jersey Country Club in Wayne and was witnessed by Bravo cameras. (We can only hope some of the incident makes it into the show’s second season!)

The Record says that police were called to the club around 11 that night and found a “very emotional and rather incoherent” Danielle in the parking lot. She reportedly told police that she had gotten into an argument with Jacqueline and that Jacqueline’s daughter, Ashley Holmes, pulled her hair and ripped out clumps of her extensions. Officials note that Ashley acknowledged pulling Danielle’s hair, but says she did so to defend her mother, whom she believed Danielle had hit. Jacqueline, for her part, told police Danielle did not hit her.

No charges were filed at the time, and Teresa, who was present, was listed by police as an “uncooperative witness.” Priceless. Meanwhile, police told Danielle she could file a simple assault complaint against Ashley, Jacqueline and whoever else if she so chose. Meanwhile, we will have to wait and see if the municipal court finds that there was probable cause, which would allow Danielle to file charges against those she says wronged her.

All of this hubbub comes on the heels of Ashley’s 19th birthday – which, according to her mom’s Twitter page – was Tuesday.

Update

Danielle dropped complaints against Jacqueline and Teresa but is pursuing charges against Ashley. Read all about it – and see a video of Danielle in court – right here.

“The Real Housewives of New Jersey” get real

You want it, you got it: Here’s my quick, in-a-nutshell recounting of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” appearance on Saturday at The Wellmont Theatre in Montclair. (And look out -this time I was sitting in the front row and have some great pix of the ladies!)

Dina Manzo small

You can't really tell here, but Dina Manzo's T-shirt reads "Last year's Versace." Copies of the shirt were also for sale in the theater's lobby. "I can't help myself," Dina said. "I'm a wise a**."/All photos by Ava Gacser

While much of the material covered territory similar to last month’s appearance by Caroline Manzo and Teresa Giudice (along with “Real Housewives of New York City’s” Alex McCord and Jill Zarin) in Englewood, there were a few new tidbits of information.

First of all, although it was never stated outright, I get the distinct impression all five ladies will be back for the second season (slated to premiere on Bravo sometime in 2010 with – get this – about 18 episodes!!!). I know there’s been some question about Dina Manzo’s participation, but based upon things she said – such as “I’m trying to make (Project) Ladybug be part of the show” and “He’s (Dina’s hubby, Tommy) not in Season 2; he won’t be around” – there’s no doubt in my mind she’ll be back.

Dina proved amusing during the approximately two-hour event, joking that seeing herself on television convinced her she needed major plastic surgery.

“I’m getting a nose job, I’m getting lipo,” she laughed.

She also took responsibility for getting the controversial “prostitution whore” herself, Danielle Staub, on the show.

“Ironically, it was my fault,” she admitted.

According to Dina, Danielle had quite the reputation at Chateau, the Franklin Lakes salon several of the women frequent. And because it was the owner of Chateau, Victor, who was the one Bravo originally approached for help in finding women for the series, salon clients were obviously preferred.

“What about that crazy one?” Dina said is how she recalls referring to Danielle. “Why don’t we take her out to dinner and find out if she’s good crazy or bad crazy?”

Dina also set the record straight about her husband, Tommy, who co-owns The Brownstone with Caroline’s hubby, Albert.

“He wants nothing to do with the show,” she said, adding that initially that bothered her but now she’s glad he isn’t involved. “It’s brought us closer” and makes their time together more special. “It’s just the two of us… it’s just like boyfriend/girlfriend time.”

Caroline Manzo small

I couldn't get a clear shot of Caroline because of that ridiculously placed speaker.

Caroline’s popular son, Albie, was in attendance (as was Dina’s daughter Lexi and Jacqueline Laurita’s daughter Ashley), and she revealed Albie now has a girlfriend named – wait for it – Danielle.

“Can you believe the irony?” Caroline added.

And when the subject of “Regis and Kelly’s” recent Halloween episode featuring the pair dressed up as Caroline and Teresa, respectively, Caroline admitted it was funny but said she couldn’t help wondering, “Why do they always pick a man to imitate me?” (*This isn’t the first time: Earlier this summer, another Jersey girl, talk-show host Chelsea Handler, did a spoof on the “Housewives” and a man played Caroline then, too.)

(In case you missed the “Regis and Kelly” spoof, here it is:)
Vodpod videos no longer available.

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Teresa Giudice small

Unlike last time's form-fitting (and gorgeous) glittery dress, Teresa opted for this flowing shift.

Teresa denied that she carries hundreds of thousands of dollars around in her purse.

“I don’t walk around carrying $120k with me,” she said.

She also confirmed that her upcoming cookbook is called “Skinny Italian” and will feature “great quick Italian recipes.”

One of the funniest moments of the evening came when Teresa started trash-talking “Real Housewife of New York City” Bethenny Frankel. After alleging that Bethenny bad mouths her, Teresa called Bethenny a “b*tch,” “slut” and “big ho.”

“You should’ve gotten married first,” she added, obviously referring to newly engaged Bethenny’s recent announcement that she’s pregnant.

Jacqueline Laurita small

It was good to see Jacqueline laugh.

Jacqueline gushed about her newborn son, Nicholas, whom she lovingly refers to as “monkey.”

“I hold him all the time,” she said. “He looks nothing like me. He’s my husband all the way.”

Speaking of which, Jacqueline also hinted that fans will see more of her husband (and Dina and Caroline’s brother), Chris, in 2010.

“Next season you might see him a lot more,” she revealed.

Jacqueline also said that she wished last season had shown her family’s relationships in a more positive light.

“It seemed to highlight all of the negative moments with my daughter (Ashley),” she said.

The evening was once again moderated by comedian Geno Bisconte.

“We all have our a**hole moments, and we all have our endearing moments,” summed up Caroline. “…If we ever forget where we came from, kick our a**.”

Here are a few more photos I took that evening:

ladies standing small

This was the best shot I could get of all of the ladies standing but it gives you an idea of how tiny they all are. Moderator Geno Bisconte is in the center.

Teresa Giudice and Caroline Manzo small

Teresa and Caroline.

Sisters-in-law Jacqueline and Dina were peppered with plenty of questions during the event.

Sisters-in-law Jacqueline and Dina were peppered with questions.

Dina tweeting small

Dina whipped out her leopard-covered Blackberry for some impromptu Twitpics, but for some reason they didn't wind up on her Twitter page (www.twitter.com/dinamanzo).

All of the ladies are on Twitter and/or Facebook. If you need any of those addresses, feel free to drop me a line. Hopefully everyone saw the In Touch Weekly photo spread of Jacqueline, Teresa and the babies. It was really cute! In case you didn’t, the photo below is from the article.

IN-TOUCH-HOUSEBABIES

Proud mothers Teresa and Jacqueline show off their newest additions, Audriana and Nicholas. I love the facial expressions on both babies!/Credit In Touch Weekly

“The Real Housewives of New Jersey”: Take one

Well, you’ve seen it and I’ve seen it. “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” are no longer a mystery to us. So what did you think? Do you find them more down-to-earth and relatable than Orange County, Atlanta or New York City? Or are they just as deluded?

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As you may know, I blogged/tweeted live during the show’s premiere. Here’s what I thought – and remember, this is coming from a genuine Jersey girl (read: not rich).

On seeing Teresa’s high school yearbook picture: Oh boy, I’m having serious flashbacks. I knew girls in school who had hair just like that. Not me, of course.

On learning Teresa’s hubby Joe is more of an “a** guy”: TMI!

On hearing Teresa say her hubby is “delicious and juicy”: Really? This guy here?

On seeing Joe crack himself up when telling an employee to lock up the business safe because Teresa is there: Tackety-tack-tack.

On Teresa swearing that she could “run around naked” on her new property and nobody would know: Take that, New York City!

On seeing Teresa dole out over $120,360 in cash: Wow. I’m speechless. I’ve never seen $5,000 in cash, much less $120,000.

On hearing Teresa say living in anything other than a brand-new home is “gross”: You’re kidding. You did grow up in Paterson, right?

On hearing Dina utter “bubbies” for the first time: Sigh. I know this is going to get old, quick.

On seeing Jacqueline admitting she used to think that New Jersey was “the armpit of the earth:” Thanks for the shout out, Jacqueline. Sincerely, The Armpit of the Earth

On hearing Jacqueline say all anyone in Jersey talks about is their cars and their money: Wow, I really need to get out more. But I can’t, because I’m too busy working to afford the (Honda) car.

On seeing Jacqueline’s 17-year-old daughter Ashley compliment her mom by saying, “I like that she’s a young mom. She’s like the mom from ‘Mean Girls:'”  What a compliment!

On witnessing Danielle say that “People might find me to be a little too much”: I can see that, especially if you tell them that right away.

On watching Danielle boast about her former career working for the Ford modeling agency: What-evah! (In an article this week, The New York Post disputes that claim and says Ford has no record of Danielle ever modeling for it.)

On hearing Danielle brag about meeting celebs, being engaged 20 times and getting a black Amex card before Madonna: Yawn, yawn and yawn.

On Danielle swearing that her daughters, 10 and 14 are “my best friends. They’re my girlfriends”: One word – disturbing.

On learning that Jacqueline was subjected to nude photos of Danielle within a half-hour of meeting her: OMG! You mean you don’t show everyone you meet nude pictures of yourself?

On Caroline saying she hopes her son’s business venture will be a “respectful strip club”: What is Caroline’s definition of “respectful”? The mind boggles.

On Dina’s daughter Lexi being such a diva:  Dina, honey, you better nip her in the bud, right now!

On seeing Teresa’s little girl (how old is she – 5?) yelling “Fabulous” as Teresa takes her photo: Scary! Oh, no, Teresa’s definitely not a stage mom. Paging “Toddlers &Tiaras”!

The restaurant that Teresa and Jacqueline follow Danielle to on her stood-up date with Gucci Model is Lua in Hoboken, which overlooks the Manhattan skyline. Pretty!

On hearing Danielle tell off Gucci Model in a voicemail – “Have a good life – or die. I don’t care”: Greatest line EVER.

On seeing Dina deliberately park in a handicapped spot: Oh no she didn’t!

That’s Chateau Salon in Franklin Lakes.

So what did everyone think of the show?

“Rock of Love Bus”: Wassa goin’ on here?

Ding dong –  the witch is dead!

Some things are just not meant to be./VH1

Some things are just not meant to be./VH1

I’ve been hoping for weeks now that Bret would see the light and kick Juliette Lewis – ooops, I mean Ashley – to the curb. But now that it’s actually happened, I have to say that I’m really going to miss her. Miss Mouth was full of hilarious one-liners, and the girls who are left behind pale in comparison.

Of course, they’re also much nicer and aren’t cheating on their baby daddies, either…

Seriously, look at her boobs. (Like it's possible to look anywhere else.) Each one is as big as Mindy's head!/VH1

Seriously, look at Ashley's boobs. (Like it's possible to look anywhere else.) Each one is as big as Mindy's head!/VH1

I’m not surprised in the least that Bret eliminated Brittanya, though I’m surprised that it took this long. I guess she figured that if Heather can pummel Daisy during last year’s “Rock of Love 2” reunion that she could do the same. Maybe spitting at Heather did the trick? On “Rock of Love: Charm School,” spitting was enough to get Brandi C. sent home. Oh, Brittanya, did you learn nothing?

I find it incredibly hard to believe that Brittanya, who showed no emotion the entire series, became so enraged and impassioned. Puhleese.

There were so many hilarious moments in today’s episode that I’m not sure where to begin.

“An ex-boyfriend’s a lot like a living sex tape,” intoned Bret. “You never know when they’re gonna surface, and you never know how much you’re going to expose.”

Thanks for the analogy, Bret.

Gosh, I still really like Beverly, but dang, most of the time I just want to shake her. She could be a serious contender – heck, she’s now officially in the final four – but she needs to get her act together, pronto. Stop whining about how nobody loves you. “My ex doesn’t even have enough respect for me to show up,” she wailed. Who wants to be around someone who’s always crying or drunk or both? Ugh. Enough already!

This picture just hints at the nuttiness that is Brittanya./VH1

This picture just hints at the nuttiness that is Brittanya./VH1

Brittanya’s hookup, Royal T, was a trip. It was real classy of him to refer to her as his piece of you-know-what. Taya’s ex, Jaz, was just a raging misogynist, and Ambre should’ve socked him for referring to her hair as “stapled-a** extensions.”

And James, Ashley’s baby daddy (with whom she still shacks up, apparently sleeps with and evidently has a tattoo of on her breast), was a piece of work, too. “Now that I came, she ain’t gonna be fightin’ for Bret no more,” he promised Ambre and Heather.

The “Wassa Goin’ On Court” segment was hi-lar-ious. I know Bret says that a lot, but I crack up every time I hear it. I may just have to incorporate it into my everyday speech.

At the beginning of the episode, Ashley whined about her remaining competitors. “This is the most boring conversation that I have ever had… I’d rather sit here in silence to be honest with you.”

At the end of the episode – right after she was eliminated – she echoed a similar sentiment.

“I was having fun until my BF Farrah left,” she moaned. “And then Bret got rid of her and I had to be stuck with these girls who made me want to kill myself. Seriously, they talked about cereal for three hours yesterday. Are you kidding me?”

So much for her love affair with Bret, too. “Good luck having fun with Gopher and the 1986 prom queen,” Ashley said in her parting shot.

Who on earth is she talking about?

Take a peek at the upcoming “Rock of Love” spin-off, “Daisy of Love,” by going here.

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