Hang in there, Bret Michaels

I’ve got my fingers crossed for Bret Michaels.

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Dr. Sanjay Gupta’s explanation of Bret’s hemorrhage on “Larry King Live” last night  – which also featured commentary by Bret’s “Celebrity Apprentice” castmate Darryl Strawberry and “Rock of Love Bus” winner Taya Parker – made it sound like he might pull out of this OK.

But from the sound of reports today, the Poison frontman and reality-television star is in really, really bad shape. According to an Entertainment Tonight report I just read on Twitter, Bret will soon be undergoing surgery to relieve swelling around his brain. The entertainment program’s unnamed source also claims that Bret’s condition is “deteriorating.”

Of course, until this information is confirmed by Bret’s people, we should really take it with a grain of salt. Still, the fact that Bret’s reps haven’t supplied fans with an update yet today (which they’ve been doing religiously on Twitter and Facebook) is quite worrisome.

At this point, it sure doesn’t hurt to send him good vibes.

Though I’ve never met Bret in person, I interviewed him in 2008 for an article about the second “Rock of Love” season. (Read my article here.)  He was gregarious and jovial, just like he seems on TV. Watching Bret on TV is like seeing an entirely different side of him – and I’m glad he was given the opportunity to continue doing that on “Celebrity Apprentice” this season. That show has been downright entertaining, and Bret is the main reason for it. Just check out this clip from this week’s episode:

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I hope we get to see more of Bret working with teammates Sharon Osbourne and Maria Kanellis. They make a great team.

And before I forget, did anyone see People’s recent story about Bret? It featured great photos of him with his daughters and their mother, Kristi Gibson. Bret seems like a very involved, sensitive father, judging by the way he talks about his daughters on “Celebrity Apprentice.” Just a couple of episodes ago, Bret was despondent at the thought that his daughter, Raine, might be diabetic:

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In the meantime, here are some photos from the People magazine article:

Bret shares custody of his daughters, Raine (top) and Jorja, with their mother, Kristi Gibson./All photos by Justin Stephens for People

If you have a Bret Michaels story to share, please do!

A battered and broken Bret is back – sort of

It remains to be seen whether or not Poison frontman and reality show star Bret Michaels has found twoo love with Penthouse Pet Taya Parker (his No. 1 pick on “Rock of Love Bus”), but one thing’s for sure: These days he’s sporting a face only a mother could love.

Ouch! That's gotta hurt.

Ouch! That's gotta hurt.

As I’m sure you’ve heard, Bret got clobbered good by a set piece during Sunday’s Tony Awards, and now he’s got pix to prove just how grievously he was injured.

He’s also accusing the Tony Awards people of having an extreme lack of concern for his welfare following the incident, wondering aloud if he would’ve received more attention if he had been, say, Liza Minnelli.

Up, up in the sky! It's a bird, it's a plane...

Up, up in the sky! It's a bird, it's a plane...

Yup, that’s right. Us Weekly reports that Bret Michaels’ rep, Janna Elias, is singing like a canary over the Tonys’ shoddy treatment of her rock star.

“I find it surprising that a Tony spokesperson would brush off this incident with a comment stating ‘Mr. Michaels missed his mark’ with no mention of concern for his condition,” the rep said. “If everyone at the Tonys were aware that Bret missed his mark then they should have been aware enough to stop the set piece from hitting him or at least slowed it down until he cleared the stage. I feel had this incident happened to Liza Minnelli, Dolly Parton or Elton John the Tonys would have at least issued a letter of concern.”

She forgot Stockard Channing, whose performance immediately followed Bret’s.

Among the points she makes are these:

*Bret was never told that the set piece which clonked him in the noggin even existed, not even during rehearsal.

*The only people to attend to a bloodied and visibly injured Bret were members of his own road crew.

*No one working behind the scenes made any move to warn Bret or slow/stop the prop from striking him.

Us also quotes another Bret spokesperson, Bob Wallerstein, as saying, “We realize the show is live and must go on, however it is unfortunate that the show’s host made light of the situation without having any knowledge of the severity of Bret’s injuries. Comments that Mr. (Neil Patrick) Harris was doing shots backstage with Mr. Michaels and that Bret was completely fine were untrue considering Bret never saw Mr. Harris prior to, during or after the Tonys but in fact was being attended to by medical personnel backstage.”

Snap! He told you, Doogie Howser!

Meanwhile, the battered and broken Bret canceled a gig on Wednesday because he’s not feeling up to snuff. He’s awaiting the result of more tests on his back and spine, and his reps say further injuries could develop. I can’t argue with that, as I know all too well that those type of injuries don’t always show themselves right away.

You can read what Bret has to say about the incident right here.

And in other Bret news, he’s telling Elle magazine all about his sex life and how his dia-bee-tus affects it. Or doesn’t. Here’s a sampling:

ELLE: You’ve lived with diabetes since you were a kid. How does the disease affect your sex life?
BRET: The only time it will ever affect you in bed is if you have extremely low blood sugar and you go into insulin shock, at which point you won’t be standing up, let alone performing sex. However, I will sometimes hold off on the insulin, which will jack my blood sugar level up to the low 200 range. It’s like how a prizefighter will want to go into the ring with his blood sugar levels high. It gives you the stamina of a bull. So, yes, sometimes I will endanger my own life to pleasure a woman.

What a guy!  Read all about it – if you dare – in the July issue of Elle.

“Rock of Love Bus”: The Pet vs. Captain Buzzkill

Holy crap, is Bret Michaels actually going to propose marriage to either Taya or Mindy on next week’s finale of “Rock of Love Bus”?

Well, I am getting older.../all photos VH1

Well, I am getting older.../all photos VH1

Considering Bret’s track record thus far – though Ambre was several more steps in the right direction than his choice during the first season, Jes – I highly doubt it. But the preview for next week’s season finale certainly gives that impression. In it, he says this:

“This is the last time I want to do this and that’s why I’m holding this ring.”

I bet it’s a *promise* ring. I mean, c’mon, he was ready to kick both Mindy and Taya to the curb this week. I can’t imagine him going into a potential relationship with their one of them without having major reservations.

Guess we’ll just have to wait and see. Today’s episode was entertaining (as usual) and full of dead-on analyses by both Bret and the girls, as well as irony aplenty. Things kicked off great with Taya (aka “The Pet”) complaining about the fact that her competition, Mindy and Jamie, just won’t stop suggesting that she’s on the show to promote Penthouse rather than find true love with Bret.


Don't hate me because I'm a Pet.

“I’m sick of hearing about it,” she whined… all the while wearing her Penthouse Pet T-shirt.

Meanwhile, The Pet’s former BFF, Mindy (or, as Bret prefers to call her, “Captain Buzzkill”), spends all of her alone time with Bret talking about The Pet!

I'm like the Energizer Bunny. I just keep talking and talking and talking... about Taya.

I'm like the Energizer Bunny. I just keep talking and talking and talking... about Taya.

“Oh, good God,” declared the clearly exasperated rocker. “Do we always have to talk about Taya?”

Fortunately, Bret found that nearly sucking Captain Buzzkill’s face off keeps the talk of The Pet to a minimum.

“Hey Taya, this is what Bret looks like making out with his girlfriend,” Captain Buzzkill bit back. See? Even in the midst of making out, Buzzkill’s got The Pet on her mind.

“I love her dearly, but that’s my guy,” replied The Pet. I was just waiting for her to say, “… whom I do not love dearly.”

In the meantime, Jamie spends a lot of time sitting around the Drama Zone.

Is it possible to be too honest?

Is it possible to be too honest?

“Jamie’s like an insurance policy,” Bret pointed out. “If Mindy is in a funk, I’ve got Jamie.”

I like Jamie. She’s straightforward and doesn’t appear to be insane. She’s perfect for Bret – except for the fact that she doesn’t want a serious relationship, is probably 20 years younger than him (which explains the former) and may just be a groupie. But hey, nobody’s perfect.

Jamie also had no problem calling it like she sees it. “I think (The Pet) is crazy, I think she’s mental,” she told Bret. “She definitely hasn’t told you the truth. She’s definitely not 29. She’s totally still a stripper.”

Bret, oddly enough, didn’t seem surprised by any of these revelations. And things didn’t get any better with he shares a meal with the three ladies.

“It’s like eating with my in-laws,” he complained (though considering he was never married, I’m not sure how he knows that’s what it’s like). “If I go through another dinner like this, I’m going to send all three of you home.”

Good idea, Bret! The “Sisters Grim” (as he dubbed them) are real downers. “I don’t do good with funks,” he admitted.

The most hilarious part of the episode came when Bret decided to relax with the ladies after dinner. As he walked toward them, he overheard The Pet whine, “I’m 29 going on 129!”

“On second thought, maybe I’ll just go catch some sleep,” he said, turning around.

But in the end, though, Bret’s concerns about Jamie led to him cutting her loose. In typical Jamie fashion, though, she took it in stride – which either makes you think a) she’s just as cool as you think she is or b) being with Bret didn’t mean as much to her as it *should.*

“I’ll get over it,” she promised. “I hope we can be friends. … Maybe he can hook me up with some tickets to Poison.”

So what are the chances that The Pet and Captain Buzzkill are going to declare their love for one another and walk off into the sunset together, leaving Bret in the dust?

Pretty good, I’d say.

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