Hang in there, Bret Michaels

I’ve got my fingers crossed for Bret Michaels.

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Dr. Sanjay Gupta’s explanation of Bret’s hemorrhage on “Larry King Live” last night  – which also featured commentary by Bret’s “Celebrity Apprentice” castmate Darryl Strawberry and “Rock of Love Bus” winner Taya Parker – made it sound like he might pull out of this OK.

But from the sound of reports today, the Poison frontman and reality-television star is in really, really bad shape. According to an Entertainment Tonight report I just read on Twitter, Bret will soon be undergoing surgery to relieve swelling around his brain. The entertainment program’s unnamed source also claims that Bret’s condition is “deteriorating.”

Of course, until this information is confirmed by Bret’s people, we should really take it with a grain of salt. Still, the fact that Bret’s reps haven’t supplied fans with an update yet today (which they’ve been doing religiously on Twitter and Facebook) is quite worrisome.

At this point, it sure doesn’t hurt to send him good vibes.

Though I’ve never met Bret in person, I interviewed him in 2008 for an article about the second “Rock of Love” season. (Read my article here.)  He was gregarious and jovial, just like he seems on TV. Watching Bret on TV is like seeing an entirely different side of him – and I’m glad he was given the opportunity to continue doing that on “Celebrity Apprentice” this season. That show has been downright entertaining, and Bret is the main reason for it. Just check out this clip from this week’s episode:

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I hope we get to see more of Bret working with teammates Sharon Osbourne and Maria Kanellis. They make a great team.

And before I forget, did anyone see People’s recent story about Bret? It featured great photos of him with his daughters and their mother, Kristi Gibson. Bret seems like a very involved, sensitive father, judging by the way he talks about his daughters on “Celebrity Apprentice.” Just a couple of episodes ago, Bret was despondent at the thought that his daughter, Raine, might be diabetic:

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In the meantime, here are some photos from the People magazine article:

Bret shares custody of his daughters, Raine (top) and Jorja, with their mother, Kristi Gibson./All photos by Justin Stephens for People

If you have a Bret Michaels story to share, please do!

“Rock of Love Bus” finale: Taya wins? Wassa goin’ on here?

Is Bret Michaels really a “standard jerk in a rock star uniform”?

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Probably not, but watching the Poison frontman choose Penthouse Pet of the Year Taya Parker over wholesome (hey, compared to her competition she certainly was!) Mindy Hall in last night’s finale of “Rock of Love Bus” did leave you wondering: What the heck is he thinking?

What about all of the weeks of assorted people – the other contestants and even Bret himself – pointing out and questioning The Pet’s never-ending plugging of Penthouse? It came up again last night, in a hilarious montage of scenes throughout the season in which The Pet uttered the word “Penthouse” (not to mention the number of times she’s worn her “Penthouse Pet” tank top). But apparently that didn’t matter in the end to Bret – heck, maybe the whole season has been a collusion between Bret and Penthouse to get them both plenty of publicity – because he picked her anyway.

“I was not expecting to fall for this guy,” said The Pet, in what was probably the most emotion she showed all season long. “I just need him to love me for me.”

About 24 hours after he got down and dirty with Captain Buzzkill, Bret was ready to seal the deal with The Pet.

“Jump into my bed of roses,” (just watch out for those thorns!) he said in an *accent* that sounded strangely like Bela Lugosi doing “Dracula.” “I will make love to you.”

“He’s the most romantic guy,” gushed The Pet. “He knows how to crawl into your heart and stick in there.”

No, that sounds more like a parasite…which you just might be bringing home with you if you drink the water.

The Pet certainly played her cards right. Even though she’s spread her legs for more photo shoots than gynecological appointments, she refused to sleep with him. And that just drove Bret crazy.

“The fact that Taya didn’t stay the night has nothing to do with the fact that now I can’t stop thinking about her,” he declared, wistfully watching her return to her hotel room.

Bret’s decision to pick The Pet left Captain Buzzkill visibly shell-shocked.

“She’s trying to paint herself as Miss Goody Two Shoes,” Captain Buzzkill said of The Pet. “(She talks like) ‘No matter how many times I pose naked in a magazine, I’m not really that girl.’ Well yeah, you are.”

I suppose Captain Buzzkill thought she had it in the bag, even though she found it practically impossible to express her feelings to Bret and spent much of the season complaining and being, as Bret puts it, “in a funk.” For that reason alone I understand why he didn’t pick her; who wants to be around someone negative that you feel like you always have to cheer up?

Frankly, if I was Bret I would’ve left both of these women standing there on the beach in the Dominican Republic. Thank God he didn’t give The Pet that engagement ring, either. (From what little you could actually see of them, it looked like she picked the classier piece.) What are the chances that he’ll actually wind up giving The Pet that ring?

Yeah, exactly.

And what are the chances that there will be another season of Bret Michaels looking for love?

Mmmm hmmmm…

Next up, the reunion! Now that should be fascinating.

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