VH1 tells Jersey girls: “You’re Cut Off!”

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Watch out Snooki, Sammi and JWoww: These privileged, bratty girls are angling for your spots in the limelight.

And guess what? They’re actually FROM Jersey.

Jessica from Howell definitely tans and may hit the gym, but she most certainly doesn't do laundry./Photos credit VH1

Meet Jessica, a Howell resident who is jobless and lives at home with her parents. She is one of nine women – two from the Garden State – from obscenely well-off families who are part of a new VH1 series called “You’re Cut Off.” The premise is simple: The women’s families are allegedly fed up with supporting them in extravagant lifestyles and have decided to kick them to the curb, where a life coach is there to pick up the pieces.

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“Celebrity Fit Club”: Sebastian’s Bach is worse than his bite

While Jon Bon Jovi is busy making television appearances as part of his “artist in residence” responsibilities for NBC, his fellow Central Jersey rocker Sebastian Bach is struggling to shed pounds on VH1’s “Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp.”

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The Lincroft resident has become somewhat of a reality show regular in recent years, participating in “Celebrity Rap Superstar,” “Supergroup” and “Gone Country 2” (which he won) prior to joining “Celebrity Fit Club.” And I must say, he’s a lot of fun to watch.

I can reassure you that the former Skid Row frontman is not putting on an act.  What you see on TV is definitely what you get in person – or at least on the phone, as I did during an interview with him in 2008.

Sebastian is another star who proudly embraces his home state of New Jersey, and you gotta love that.

Oh, oh, oh Antonio!

Do any of these women find prosciutto to be the most erotic of the dry, cured meats?/Credit VH1

Do any of these women find prosciutto to be the most erotic of the dry, cured meats?/Credit VH1

Overheard on today’s new episode of VH1’s “My Antonio” by its star, Antonio Sabato Jr.:

I’ve modeled a lot in my life, but I’ve never modeled naked. I just felt like a piece of meat. Like a big, Italian prosciutto.”

prosciutto

I knew prosciutto, prosciutto was a friend of mine. Antonio, you’re no prosciutto.

Megan wants a… murderer?

“Rock of Love” reject Megan Hauserman may be looking for love on her VH1 reality show “Megan Wants a Millionaire” (which I shudder to admit I watch), but what she may have actually found instead is an honest-to-goodness murderer.

Lily may be adorable, but apparently the pooch can't sniff out smooth criminals like Ryan Alexander Jenkins, below./Credit VH1

Lily may be adorable, but apparently the pooch has a harder time sniffing out possible smooth criminals like Ryan Alexander Jenkins, below./Credit VH1

millionaire ryan

No joke. As of Sunday’s episode, one of the top contenders for Megan’s cold-hard-cash heart is Ryan Alexander Jenkins, a 31-year-old “Smooth Operator” (smooth criminal might be more accurate) with a reported $2.5 million in the bank. What Megan apparently just found out – as did the rest of the free world – is that Ryan is considered a “person of interest” by the police in the murder investigation of Jasmine Fiore, a model whose body was found stuffed in a suitcase and thrown inside an Orange County, Calif., Dumpster on Saturday. Ryan evidently married the late Jasmine after being booted off Megan’s show during taping earlier this year, and was reportedly in contact with Jasmine shortly before her death.

Complicating matters for Ryan is the fact that he’s missing in action. Authorities believe the Calgary native may be bound for Canada.

For her part, Megan told TMZ that she’s “completely horrified” to learn that she canoodled with someone who may somehow be involved in a murder.

Ryan was “very nice” and “educated,” Megan says.  He is the “least likely person I would ever expect” to be involved in a crime such as this.

“I feel really sorry for the girl and her family,” Megan adds.

Wonder what Lily has to say about all this.

“Daisy of Love”: London Calling

I told you Daisy De La Hoya was going to pick London.

It was lust at first sight when Daisy clapped eyes on London./Credit VH1

It was lust at first sight when Daisy clapped eyes on London./Photos Credit VH1

Of course, you probably already figured that out, too. It was obvious she was drawn to him and never recovered after he departed the show. I read somewhere that it really was only a week between when he left and when he came back, so that makes her pining for him a lot more understandable.

Plus, of course, Daisy’s psychic told her London (aka Joshua Lee) was the  best choice of the remaining four guys (which also included Sinister, Flex and 12 Pack).

“London is a homeless sex addict who my psychic thinks is perfect for me,” Daisy declared. “Go figure.”

Who doesn’t listen to their psychic?

I felt really bad for 12 Pack/Dave (who I just learned is a Jersey boy – go Dave!) when he was the first of the final three to be eliminated. But it wasn’t really a surprise, though. Sure, 12 Pack had his jerky moments just like the rest of the guys, but on the whole he seemed a lot more put together and pretty much out of Daisy’s emotional/mental league. He was also by far the funniest of the bunch, as evidenced by the all too hysterical skunk incident.

Don’t cry for 12 Pack. He’ll be getting his own show faster than you can say “banana hammock.” Mark my words.

Fox is out like sauerkraut./Credit VH1

Fox is out like sauerkraut.

And for the rest of my life,  if I ever see another photo of Fox that hilarious “Fox…oooooh yeah” music is going to automatically pop into my head. Thanks, VH1.

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